Fallen.
| April 22, 2011 | Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized |
I type this with fingers that are still a little shaky. My stomach is still turning, my nerves are still shot. Tears sting my eyes as I try to come up with a witty way to say what I need to say, but I can’t do it. So, I’ll just say it. Alice fell yesterday. She was startled a bit but was fine about 3 minutes after it happened. More than 24 hours later I am still reeling.
Having two big dogs in our house means that we never set Alice on the floor without making sure that the dogs are secured by gate in another area of the house. When we are downstairs we put her on the island in the kitchen in her car seat while we get her bag ready or make coffee or whatever else we need to do in the kitchen. Yesterday, I fed her a bottle and put her in her car seat on the island as usual. I didn’t strap her in. I needed to pack a few more items upstairs for our trip to Dallas for Easter weekend, so I left her with Sophie and went upstairs. I was packing our camera when I heard a thud followed by a loud cry.
I ran down the stairs, shouting outloud, “Nononono!” I rounded the corner to the kitchen and saw it: My baby, my world, lying face down on the hard tile floor. I ran to her, picked her up, held her tight. Pulled back long enough to check her out and then pulled her close again. She stopped crying after about a minute. I called our pediatrician who told me to call 911. I called Leslie, and she got to our house before the ambulance did. The EMTs arrived, asked me a few questions, and gingerly took her from my shaking arms. They checked her over and told me that she looked great, but that we’d need to go to Dell Children’s to get her looked at.
On the way to the hospital I called George and explained what happened. Leslie had already talked to him so he was on his way to the hospital but didn’t have the details. He asked a ton of questions and I tried to answer them as calmly as I could. He never, ever was mad or upset with me. When we arrived at the ER and got into the room, I broke down again as I looked at my sweet baby on the gurney.
She was examined by a nurse and two doctors. During the waits between the exams, she nursed and napped on me. We made the decision to have a CT scan taken to rule out internal bleeding or skull fractures. They wheeled me holding Alice on the gurney down the hall to the x-ray room. George and I both wore aprons and distracted her during the scan, although she didn’t need it. She was a complete angel the whole time. The scans were clear and we were discharged.
I think I must have prayed for 5 straight hours. Thank God for my baby, thank God she was ok. I was (am) so scared, so mad at myself, so afraid of what could have happened.
But this morning I was lucky enough to wake up and look over at my sleeping bean. She opened her eyes like she always does and looked at me for a few seconds before breaking into a huge grin. George cuddled with us both and told us how much he loves his girls. And, later this morning, a message from my mom, making me feel better the way only a mama can: “Hi sweetie. I just wanted you to know that nothing has changed since Wednesday morning. You are still the best mom in the world, and I love you so much.”
Obviously, I’ve learned my lesson. Great parenting advice came from one of the EMT’s: “If you ever think to yourself, ‘It’ll only be a minute…’ STOP. What you are doing probably isn’t smart.” No shit, guy. I might have that tatoo’ed on my hand. Oh, and to squeeze the Boobin a little harder a little more often.
Thank you Mom, George and little Boobin. And, thank you God. Thank you.
Part of my punishment for negligence is to post really bad pictures of myself with A in the hospital. Behold:
I’m so sorry, friend. You handled everything beautifully, and you are 100% wonderful. Never doubt that for a second.