Monthly Archives: July 2011
|July 26, 2011||Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized|
If you need proof, here is Exhibit A:
(And before I start, Alice was up for an hour or two the night before last, so I was dead tired last night.)
Last night at about 2 or 3 or 4 am (the point is, it was the middle of the night), I awoke to find the baby laying on my legs. I raised my head up and asked George why he put the baby in bed with us. “What?” he asked, still 4/5 of the way asleep.
“Why did you bring the baby to bed with us and put her on my legs?” I asked/accused him.
“What are you talking about?” He replied, more awake/angry this time.
“The baby. She’s right there!” I pointed.
George sat up, looked at my legs, and looked at me.
“This?” He asked, touching her head.
“Yes. THE BABY,” I said, slowly so his pea brain could understand. “WHY did you bring her to bed? She needs to be in her crib!”
“DO YOU MEAN THE DOG?” He asked.
I looked closer. Squinted. I could see it now. My baby seemed to have 4 legs. And floppy ears. And a tail.
“Oh. Yes. I thought that was the baby.”
“Sweetp, go to sleep.” He said. Quite rudely, I might add.
It was an honest mistake. But, nonetheless, proof that motherhood is making me insane.
|July 11, 2011||Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized|
Oh, my baby. My sweet, sweet baby. This was a month of a lot of firsts. You army crawled and our world changed. We can’t just set you on the floor and trust that you’ll stay in the same place. More than likely you’ll have crawled to the nearest electric plug and it’ll be in your mouth. Sometimes I wonder why we’ve wasted so much money on toys when your favorite things to play with are the coffee table, the printer, and your reflection in the glass of the entertainment center. You sprouted the cutest two little bottom teeth and are working on the top. Teething hasn’t been too bad but one of your favorite treats is now a frozen banana in a mesh teether.
You had your first surgery last month for ear tubes. After 4 ear infections in 4 months, we made the decision to get you tubes and hopefully spare you some pain. The procedure was quick and easy and you sailed right through it.
You continue to be the happiest, sweetest and easiest baby I’ve ever met. You aren’t a baby that smiles for no reason, so we try to make you smile a lot, because we both agree that when you do its the greatest thing ever. You started putting your arms up to reach for us when we go to pick you up. You are interacting with us more than ever and its just more proof that you are a little person with her own personality.
But the best thing you did last month was kiss me. You put your chubby hands on both of my cheeks, lean in kiss me with your mouth wide open. Its slobbery and is my favorite thing in the whole world. You also tried to feed me for the first time this past month. I was holding a tortilla and gave it to you. You slobbered all over it, then took a bite, looked up at me, and held it to my mouth for me to take a bite. It was so gross, but I took my bite and was happy to do it. You fed me! You’ve done it a few more times since then and it always makes me smile.
You finally noticed that we have two big dogs and you love their paws. They’ve been so gentle with you and we are so proud of them. You are pulling up a bit here and there, and I think before long you’ll be walking with the help of furniture.
We love you so much and pat ourselves on the back quite often for making such a wonderful baby. You are beyond wonderful.
|July 6, 2011||Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized||
Das Boobin celebrated her first July 4th this weekend. No fireworks because we are in a drought, but we had a massive cookout with tons of friends and even more beer. In order of stated preference, people came to 1) squeeze Alice’s thighs, 2) see our new rocky backyard and 3) hang out with George and me. That last one was my mom, obv.
We had a great time with great music, great friends, and great food. No one melted in the Texas heat (bonus!) and no kids drank bubble solution (double bonus!). George’s hidden talent of making really juicy burgers on the grill was uncovered. And these cheeks were pinched, repeatedly.
|July 1, 2011||Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized|
So, we’re on the plane going to Wisconsin. Its early- our first flight was at 6:30 and its about an hour into the flight. Babygirl has already blown through the bottle of pumped milk I brought with us and she’s fussing a little, so I decide to breastfeed her. The girl in the seat next to us is about 18-20 years old. I figure that she’ll be ok with me breastfeeding because 1) she’s female, 2) she’s young, and 3) she’s asleep. Alice latches on, starts eating, and I look around to make sure the creep across the aisle isn’t trying to score a peek at my boob. All goes well. For about 4 minutes.
To understand this story you need to know that the first few minutes of breastfeeding in a session are quite forceful. Alice has become quite adept at riding the fire hose until it calms down and gets under control. In the early months she’d hack and cough and make a big production as if she might drown at any moment. I’d freak out, pull her off, and she’d get a face full of milk and end up even more pissed than she was to begin with. These days she stays on and I just pray that she doesn’t bite me while trying to slow the flow.
So she’s eating, and I’m looking around and covering with my free hand. I don’t have a blanket covering myself because Alice doesn’t roll that way. She wants everyone to see her Mama’s goods and she wants to see everything going on. I’ve tried to cover in the past and she spends the whole session trying to pull it over rather than eating, which just draws more attention to what we’re doing. So, I don’t cover, but on this particular instance I had my hand blocking any part of breast that may have been showing.
I see out of the corner of my eye that the girl next to me is now awake and moving around. Before I can stop her, she starts talking to Alice, who is immediately interested in this new person. Alice pulls off, turns to look at her, and gives her a big wet smile, milk dripping off of her cheek. Its cute. The problem is that the faucet has been turned on, full blast, and before I can throw my free hand over it to block the flow, or in the alternative, kill myself, its spraying. Spraying from me, over Alice, over the armrest, and onto the arm of that poor, innocent girl who just woke from her nap. And it sprayed so much more than just that little freckled arm. It sprayed away any chance of making eye contact with anyone on the plane for the next 2 hours. It washed away my dignity, my self-respect, and any pride I once had as a breastfeeding mother.
Sigh. And, now I’m posting it, putting it out there onto the interwebs for all to see, preserved forever, lest I forget and in the future, mistakenly, think that the time I peed myself in 10th grade theater class was the most embarrassing moment in my life. Nope, peeing wasn’t nearly as embarrassing as spraying. This is it, people. This is it.