Monthly Archives: April 2011
Healing Cow.
| April 28, 2011 | Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized |
I’ve been part milk cow for over 5 months now. I have so many feelings and thoughts about it that they really deserve their own post and someday I will write about it. Anyway, Alice exclusively eats breastmilk. I pump at work to make bottles for the following day at daycare. Sometimes, I moo while I pump, for comedic effect. You know, because the thought of me hooked up to a sucking machine with my shirt up behind a two inch door while my co-workers are milling about outside my office isn’t funny enough.
Alice has been in daycare for a little over 2 months, which means she’s had a cold/ear infection for a little over 2 months. The other day, she woke up with green/yellow goo oozing out of both eyes, which looked red and horrible. I asked Dr. Google and learned that it could be pink eye caused by the ear infection. YAY! Because the cold/EI combo was, quite frankly, so done. It was refreshing to get a new illness for variety’s sake.
Google also told me that breastmilk has been used by women in some cultures (no, not this one) in the eyes as a cure for pink eye. Interesting. I immediately proclaimed that to be gross (out loud) and promptly judged hippies who still do this. And then I looked down at my nursing bean, who had pulled off because the spray was too strong. It was hitting her in the cheek, right below her eye. And then I thought, hmm, well, this is going to get into her eye anyway, right? RIGHT? And then I squirted her in the eye. With milk. From my boob.
OH STOP. I know, its weird, its a little gross, and its soooo hippy. But, I did it, and I felt weird afterward but the Boobin didn’t seem to even notice. She was too busy nomming at the udder. I put her to bed about an hour later.
And you know what? This morning she woke up with, wait for it, NO GOOP. Her eyes were white, not red, and she had no goo. INTERESTING. I patted myself on the back and decided that I am not a hippy, but a smart mom.
But then she had a doc appointment. Crap. I was going to have to tell the Doctor that I squirted milk in her eye… because Google told me too! F. That’s not cool. If it was something kooky I did to myself, I might omit the information when telling the doctor about my ailment. But, this is the baby. I have to tell the doctor everything lest something interact with breastmilk eyedrops (I dunno! Could happen!).
So, I took her. The NP asked about her symptoms. Asked how she was acting. Asked if I’d done anything to treat the pinkeye. Damn. I mumbled something incoherent about breastmilk. She looked up. “What?”
“You are going to think I am crazy, but, I put breastmilk in her eyes.” I said slowly, but very quietly, hoping she wouldn’t hear me, and quickly burying my blushing cheeks in Alice’s neck to give her kisses.
“Oh… that’s not crazy. When babies get clogged tear ducts I tell moms to put a little milk in their eyes. This can only help pinkeye.”
VALIDATION. Oh, its so sweet.
So, to summarize: I am smart. I make food. And, I make a cure for pinkeye. Oh, and I’m a hippy. But not a stinky one.
Chubby bunny.
| April 26, 2011 | Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized |
Did you ever try to stuff your mouth full of marshmallows and try to say “Chubby Bunny” without spitting them out and/or choking and/or puking? No? Oh. Well, me neither.
I had my very own chubby bunny for Easter. We made the trek to Mimi’s new casa and spent 4 days with the fam. Alice played with her younger (by a month!) cousin, Luke, and we ate and ate and ate. We swam and read books and played games. And ate. It was relaxing, fun, and such a sweet Easter with my new bunny. Holidays are a ton more fun now that we have a squishy bean to celebrate with.
Fallen.
| April 22, 2011 | Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized |
I type this with fingers that are still a little shaky. My stomach is still turning, my nerves are still shot. Tears sting my eyes as I try to come up with a witty way to say what I need to say, but I can’t do it. So, I’ll just say it. Alice fell yesterday. She was startled a bit but was fine about 3 minutes after it happened. More than 24 hours later I am still reeling.
Having two big dogs in our house means that we never set Alice on the floor without making sure that the dogs are secured by gate in another area of the house. When we are downstairs we put her on the island in the kitchen in her car seat while we get her bag ready or make coffee or whatever else we need to do in the kitchen. Yesterday, I fed her a bottle and put her in her car seat on the island as usual. I didn’t strap her in. I needed to pack a few more items upstairs for our trip to Dallas for Easter weekend, so I left her with Sophie and went upstairs. I was packing our camera when I heard a thud followed by a loud cry.
I ran down the stairs, shouting outloud, “Nononono!” I rounded the corner to the kitchen and saw it: My baby, my world, lying face down on the hard tile floor. I ran to her, picked her up, held her tight. Pulled back long enough to check her out and then pulled her close again. She stopped crying after about a minute. I called our pediatrician who told me to call 911. I called Leslie, and she got to our house before the ambulance did. The EMTs arrived, asked me a few questions, and gingerly took her from my shaking arms. They checked her over and told me that she looked great, but that we’d need to go to Dell Children’s to get her looked at.
On the way to the hospital I called George and explained what happened. Leslie had already talked to him so he was on his way to the hospital but didn’t have the details. He asked a ton of questions and I tried to answer them as calmly as I could. He never, ever was mad or upset with me. When we arrived at the ER and got into the room, I broke down again as I looked at my sweet baby on the gurney.
She was examined by a nurse and two doctors. During the waits between the exams, she nursed and napped on me. We made the decision to have a CT scan taken to rule out internal bleeding or skull fractures. They wheeled me holding Alice on the gurney down the hall to the x-ray room. George and I both wore aprons and distracted her during the scan, although she didn’t need it. She was a complete angel the whole time. The scans were clear and we were discharged.
I think I must have prayed for 5 straight hours. Thank God for my baby, thank God she was ok. I was (am) so scared, so mad at myself, so afraid of what could have happened.
But this morning I was lucky enough to wake up and look over at my sleeping bean. She opened her eyes like she always does and looked at me for a few seconds before breaking into a huge grin. George cuddled with us both and told us how much he loves his girls. And, later this morning, a message from my mom, making me feel better the way only a mama can: “Hi sweetie. I just wanted you to know that nothing has changed since Wednesday morning. You are still the best mom in the world, and I love you so much.”
Obviously, I’ve learned my lesson. Great parenting advice came from one of the EMT’s: “If you ever think to yourself, ‘It’ll only be a minute…’ STOP. What you are doing probably isn’t smart.” No shit, guy. I might have that tatoo’ed on my hand. Oh, and to squeeze the Boobin a little harder a little more often.
Thank you Mom, George and little Boobin. And, thank you God. Thank you.
Part of my punishment for negligence is to post really bad pictures of myself with A in the hospital. Behold:
5 Months!
| April 10, 2011 | Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized |
FIVE MONTHS! It took me 5 months to discover that I did not birth a human baby. No, I am instead the proud mother of a lizard. Alice discovered her tongue this month and loves to poke it out, tip as pointy as she can make it, and rub things on it. She hasn’t quite figured out licking, so she brings every thing to it instead. Its cute, obv.
As is tradition these days, our monthly photoshoot included a cold for both of us. It took us a few minutes to get into our photographer/model groove.
First, I was off center and she was annoyed:
Then, she started feelin’ it but I was out of focus:
But, in the end, I got my act together and she hit her stride. May I present: Boudoir Baby.
Happy 5 Months, sweet Boobin. Mommy and Daddy love you so much.
We’ve got a screamer!
| April 7, 2011 | Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized |
Its been a rough couple of weeks. Alice was moved into the next bigger babies room at daycare, and ever since she’s been nappy crappily (What?! Its a word. I think.), night waking, and screaming the minute we get her into the car. None of these things are normal for her. The napping and night waking are almost positively related, and I think we might be getting that under control (she says as she crosses her fingers and toes, wishes on a star, and sends a check to Pat Robertson justincase). But the car rides… damn, y’all.
I lost it last night on a particularly rough car trip home from daycare. Alice screamed the moment I put her in the car until I couldn’t take it anymore and stopped at Target 35 minutes later in a desperate attempt to find some toys for her car seat. I was thinking maybe she was bored. I fed her before we left the daycare center so she wasn’t hungry. As soon as we got back in the car, though, the screaming started again. By the time we got home 10 minutes later she was sweaty, red faced and teary eyed and I was shaking and crying myself. What the hell, y’all??
Anyone have any sage advice? Why is my 4 month 4 week old baby, who previously never made a peep in the car, suddenly losing it every time I put it in drive? Seriously. I need help.
Dear Orange Lady in the Elevator,
| April 7, 2011 | Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized |
You are orange. Stop fake baking. Its only April. If you continue this behavior you are going to be full on Oompa Loompa by June.
Very truly yours,
Ms. Hoyt
Anything for a laugh.
| April 5, 2011 | Posted by Lisa under Uncategorized |
What will two professionals in their 30s do to get a 4 month old to laugh? ANYTHING. EVERYTHING. ALL THE TIME.
We want her to belly laugh and she’s holding out on us. Her smile, oh God, that smile, is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I only have two pictures of it, though, because the minute I get the camera out its all serious business. But, the other night I got sneaky and caught one after her dad kissed her belly:
See what I mean? Amazing.
She’s been quite the smiler for a few weeks now, but the laugh remains elusive. We try to bring it out every evening, though, and we aren’t giving up. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, here’s a video of George giving it the ole’ college try. Its mildly cute.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwMKuztO3Z4[/youtube]
